Champagne is essentially carbonated confetti in a bottle—born in the chilly chalk cellars of northeastern France yet strutting out like a gold-studded diva on awards night. Legend says monk Dom Pérignon discovered the sparkle and shouted, “Come quickly, I’m drinking the stars!”—which is precisely the sort of dramatic entrance Champagne still makes at every party. Each racing bubble whispers, “You’re classier than your credit score,” while gently urging you toward oysters, caviar, and eventually those questionable dance moves you’ll blame on the playlist. It can elevate Tuesday takeout to royal-court status, transform a breakup into an “I’m fabulous anyway” moment, and convince even the shyest guest they speak flawless French—oui, absolument! Just remember: beneath that elegant pop lurks a mischievous fizz capable of inflating egos and turning toasts into karaoke—so sip with both pinky and sense of humor properly raised.